Friday, June 24, 2016

Mogie is Three Months Old!

This last month was quite the big month for us - Mogie went on her first plane flight/wedding/family visit, started sleeping through the night, went swimming, and has all around become more and more of a little person each day.  She still loves fans, baths, and grabbing or kicking at anything in sight. Her opinion of sleeping is getting slightly better, but still would rather just stay awake and be a part of the world she's in.

Three Month Stats

:: Size ::

No appointment to know the numbers - but she is definitely bigger. Still 3 month clothing and size 1 diapers.

Paper heart courtesy of big sister.
:: Eating ::

About every three hours still during the daytime, and its a rare night if she needs to eat. Still spitty, but it is slowly but surely getting better as a whole.

:: Sleeping ::

Mogie is getting better at her day time sleep routine as well. She clearly has a sleep window which can get missed, leading to a a pretty hard time getting her to fall asleep. Thankfully, she isn't super fussy when she's tired (in fact, she seems to get a second wind) so it's not a total disaster if the nap window gets missed.

Night time sleep is great as a whole. She does wake up around 3-4 in the morning every few days, but can be put back to sleep with a pacifier. Otherwise, it's a full night's sleep! We're going to start the process of moving her out of our bedroom soon. Hopefully the transition to sharing a bedroom with Dellie will be relatively smooth!

:: Milestones ::

We've made the decision that this girl is more aggressive than her sister was. Mogie is definitely more physically active (lots of scooting and pushing off with her legs), grabs everything in sight and pulls hard, does tummy time like a boss, and has even rolled over a couple times (they were both a bit of a surprise for her, so I don't know that she realized that was what would happen when she pushed off). She also chats and chats with you and just loves to be a part of whatever is going on.

Moment caught by Gramps. I am forever grateful.
:: Dellie ::

I have caught Dellie on a few occasions holding sister's hand and oh. my. the heart explosions that happen each and every time. She's really looking forward to sharing their bedroom (cause she has no clue what's coming), and her favorite thing is to outfit coordinate with her sister.

She has also started play acting having her own baby to take care of, down the wiping of spit up each and every time her babies burp.

:: Cloth Diapers ::

We ended up having to get rid of a large chunk of our cloth diapers because the waterproof lining was shot. So we're officially down to the ones that work, which lasts about a day, and are going to slowly get some more to get back to full time use. Even still, having them to offset regular diaper usage is really helpful.

:: I Don't Want to Forget ::

The emphatic smiles Mogie gives whenever I come to get her up from her naps; how she chews on pacifiers in the corner of mouth and then literally spits them as far as she can; her wide eyes and open mouth stare like every moment is a new surprise for her; how everything that passes into her hand must be put into her mouth.

Happy quarter of a year, little girl! We can't imagine life without you, nor can we hardly remember life before you anymore!

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Mogie is 2 Months Old!

Get used to it, little girl. You're stuck with her for life.

Our Dragon baby has mellowed out a bit, but still proves to be a bit of an adorably aggressive personality. She loves her play mat, death grips, ceiling fans, and baths; and hates bouncy seats, going to sleep, and getting changed when she really thinks its time to eat.

She also survived her first Mother's Day (which turned into the first day of a long week of an awful stomach bug for the rest of us), first family birthday (her Dad is now officially a boring adult!), and her first baby shower (which her mom hosted for a couple of friends who are due in the next couple months).

The almost twins hanging with the bigger kids at the baby shower.
Two Month Stats

:: Size ::

She clocked in at her appointment at 11 lbs/9 oz, 22 in, and a slightly bigger noggin.  Her percentiles are 50%, 25%, and 85% (respectively). So short and stout, with likely most of that weight coming from her head size ;) She's in 3 month clothing, and size 1 diapers.

:: Eating ::

We've found a pretty consistent routine of about every 3 hours during the day, with a last feeding around 10 pm, and another around 4 am. Sometimes she will stretch even longer on a random night, but then will go back to her regularly scheduled programming. She's also turned out to be pretty flexible with what time she eats during the days, so the actual times she eats can vary from day to day.

Spit ups definitely still happen, but she will actually have days where she doesn't at all (!!). The doctor was optimistic that she *should* quit spitting up completely by 9 months old. Ha ha.

Looking into the future a bit, I am sure.
:: Sleeping ::

I'm also starting to figure out her sleep pattern as well. She will generally stay awake and happy for about an hour to and hour and a half between each feeding, then nap until her next one. Granted, this doesn't happen every time, and often there's at least once a day where she either wants extra sleep or none at all. But she is a lot happier these days while she's awake, and is learning to fall asleep without fighting it every single time.

She does falls asleep fairly quickly after her night feedings (enough that I have trouble getting a full feeding in most nights), with the rare exception, which usually turns out to be a need for a solid burping.

:: Milestones ::

I swear I saw her first legitimate smile around 5 weeks.

This was me when that first smile happened.

But then nothing until about 8 weeks, where she would give the most adorable open-mouth grin to... the ceiling fan. Talk about an ego buster. She currently does smile, but is a bit picky as to who and when she will reward with one. However, she is always willing to "talk" back and forth with you with the sweetest little "goos," "gahs," "ayes," and raspberries.

She has started reaching for the toys attached to her play mat, and grabs hair, shirts and the back of your arm with an impressive death grip. She's a mover as well, and it is quite normal to find her shifted around a good 45 degrees from wherever you left her. Lastly, she has found her hands, but doesn't know whether to chew on them, try to suck her thumb, or whack herself in the face with them.

Those who tummy time together, stay together.
:: Dellie ::

Happier baby = happier big sister. I've caught Dellie playing with her on multiple occasions, which usually goes something like this:

"Okay, Moge, we're going to drive in our car to the store now. (high pitched voice) Ok, Grandma!(normal voice) Here we are! Let's get out now!" (hops away and leaves baby sister in the car.)

I have dreamed of these moments for years, and I just about cry for joy every time they happen. Dellie also likes to play on the play mat with Mogie, and has declared which hanging toys belong to her and which are her sisters (we're working on that). She's still very helpful with picking out outfits to match with her own, throwing away diapers, and wiping up any spit she runs across.

She has also finally gotten fairly comfortable with the routine we have of when I need to focus on the baby (feeding and getting down for naps) and when I have the time to focus on being with her.

:: Cloth Diapers ::

Mogie is finally fitting in the regular size diapers... but it turns out a lot of them are leaking too. We thankfully have enough still working to make it through the day time, and are going to slowly work on replacing them over the next few months. But I have gotten into the routine (and have a great 4 year old helper) of getting them washed and folded, and am actually enjoying getting into the swing of using cloth diapers again.

:: I Don't Want To Forget ::

The surprised, happy smiles Mogie gives me when I pick her up after having left her alone for a few minutes; the way she pulls on her hair when she's tired; the way she violently shakes her head in what seems like an effort to evade falling asleep; how she prefers to be held with her head flung backwards over the crook of your arm so she can see the world from her upside-down vantage.

I am truly enjoying getting to see little glimpses of her personality come out. She is definitely her own, and I am so glad I get the privilege of being her mom.

P.S. Our insurance still has her labelled as "Baby Boy." ;)

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Mogie is 1 Month Old!

She's two pounds heavier, almost two inches longer, and has officially lost her title as the easiest baby in the world. She's also been re-nicknamed to Dragon baby. Cute, I know. But this girl makes some of the most amazing snorts and growls, spits her own version of fire, and has the personality to fit. And I swear, it is a nickname of pure endearment in this house.

I wish this picture truly captured just how red she gets when she's mad. 
She has also continued the trend of being involved in medical mix ups. Yes, we're still in the process of finalizing her status as a girl. We also have had the pleasure of needing to re-do her newborn blood screenings, because not just one, but both tests they performed in her fist week of life came back with insufficient amounts of blood to test. Us three girls have had to spend more hours at the lab than we've ever cared to getting another round of tests done. Here's to hoping the most recent one actually works!

One Month Stats

:: Size ::

At her doctor's appointment she clocked in at 9 lbs, 8 oz, and 21.5 inches long. Oh, and her noggin has jumped a couple inches too. She is currently right in between newborn and 3 month clothing sizes, and technically still fits newborn diapers (thanks to a particularly small rear end).

:: Eating ::

Anywhere from 2-3.5 hours throughout the day. There has also been many a day where she has gone into serious cluster feeding mode. She also has continued to be a spitter, with the severity of it being dependent on how close her feedings are, how I burp her, how angry she is... I could go on. I feel like I'm starting to see trends in what causes worse spit ups, and do my darnedest to avoid them. Even still, we're still doing at least a load of laundry a day.

Mogie's first Easter. She obviously had a blast.
:: Sleeping ::

This area is where Mogie lost her angel baby status. She was sleeping almost all the time for the first two weeks, and so when she suddenly started staying awake for chunks of the day, I was shocked. Unfortunately too, she's also been spending most of her awake times crying. I don't think it's so bad that I can call it colic, but it has been a hard adjustment for us parents and Dellie to figure out how to either help her stop crying or suffer through it without turning on each other.

Thankfully, she does keep her crying fits confined to the day time. She mostly sleeps at night, with one or two feedings, although she did have a slightly terrifying phase where she would stay awake after her 2 a.m. feeding for at least an hour. Josh was wonderful enough to spend those few nights walking her back and forth until she fell asleep, and (hopefully) the phase seems to have passed and now she konks right out after her midnight snacks.

A rare moment of affection on both ends.

:: Dellie ::

The true adjustment phase has finally hit for her. She really struggles with the bouts of crying - to the point that she has broken down herself in tears because of it. Over the last couple of days, however, she has figured out she can help by sticking the pacifier in Mogie's mouth, which I think has really helped her feel like she be a part of the solution. Speaking of being helpful, Dellie is quite willing to grab a diaper or a change of clothes for me, and is always up for some friendly advice. A common phrase in the house is, "Mom, I think she's crying because she's hungry/tired/needs changed." I generally find it endearing, unless my sense of humor is out the window :)

Quote of the month: "Mom, once you're done feeding her, you should throw her in the trash because she spits up too much."

:: Cloth Diapers ::

Someone asked me if I was going to start up the cloth diapering posts again. I promise I won't drag you through those again ;) BUT I do want to write a little bit of what's going on with them, if nothing else for my own sake.

We did start using our cloth diapers with Mogie after the first couple weeks' adjustment, and are currently sort of using them during the day. Partly because I'm not ready to jump all in, and partly because there is a LOT of leaking going on (boo). Unfortunately, some of the elastic didn't survive storage for four years (go figure). So we're just making it work as much as I can handle during the day, with some regular diapers mixed in when I just need a bit of a break.

:: I Don't Want to Forget ::

As much as these last few weeks have been stretching in my emotions, my tiredness, my mothering, everything, it is amazing to me how natural it feels to take care of a newborn this time around, and how much easier it is to operate under severe sleep deprivation.

I don't want to forget how much I enjoy just sitting there while she sleeps with all her tiny weight in my arms; how she snorts, growls, and does her strange panicked cry/laugh whenever she knows her meal is almost here; that she prefers to sleep with her arms straight over her head and her legs stretched out as far as they can go; realizing that she has a heart shaped birthmark right on her forehead between her eyebrows.

I title this one, "Grouchy and the Hedgehog."

We love you, little Moge. You're a bit of a mystery and you keep us on our toes, but we can't imagine life without you around.  Happy surviving one month!

Thursday, April 7, 2016

The First Two Weeks

And just like that, We've survived the first couple of weeks.

Honestly, this little girl is proving to be a really good sport. She eats really well, sleeps even better, and is pretty flexible with whatever we throw at her.

There's only been two hitches in our nearly perfect transition - one, this girl is a spitter. In the realm of problems, it's really quite minimal. When she was born she swallowed a decent amount of amniotic fluid, and so she spent the first week of her life spitting it all out. The pattern has continued to a lesser degree, possibly just because she's just a spitty baby, and partly because her mom won the oversupply of milk lottery.

The other hitch was courtesy of a mistake with the registration at the hospital. During our stay at the hospital, each and every person who came to look in on Imogene initially asked how our baby boy was doing.

Wait, boy?

Yes. Apparently she had been mislabelled by someone, which led to a few awkward conversations with the hearing test lady, the photographer, and the pediatrician, but we didn't think anything of it.

Until the next day. We called our health insurance to get her set up, where we found out that the mistake wasn't just confined to the hospital. Our insurance company had gotten the report that she was a boy, too. So we have been spending hours upon hours trying to get the problem fixed. But on the funny side, we've received tons of mail from our insurance mailed to "Baby Boy Meyer." (One for the baby book, I am sure.)

Here's some pictures of Imogene's first couple weeks of life!

One day old - doing her favorite thing. Sleep.

Still sleeping.

Did I mention she likes to sleep?

Meeting the cat. He also likes to sleep.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

She's Here!

In case you haven't heard the news (which I think everyone has, cause I'm quite late getting this posted), but our little girl arrived!

7 lbs 13 oz - 20 in

Meet Imogene Sasha, born Sunday, March 13th at 7:30 pm. She came fast and furious, and we are so thankful she did!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The whole week before was a bit of a mess of emotions. On one hand, I was beyond excited that this was it! She's going to be here any time now! But also a lot of confusion and frustration that my body was slowly dilating, but not actually going into labor. I have dreamed of getting to experience the process of going into labor on my own, especially so after going through with an induction with Dellie, but knew each day that I was running out of time. Especially scary was the thought that I may never get the chance again if my attempt at a VBAC failed and I needed another c-section. I felt a little bit like a ticking bomb which may or may not actually go off.

Looking back now, it's amazing how God wanted to walk me all the way to end of my own rope and then let me fall for a bit before catching me. It's like He knew I needed to let go (once again) of all my hopes and expectations and dreams for this child and when and how she would be born before He would step in and do His thing.

And once I got to that place, boy did He.

The funny thing is, I have friends who were walking through almost the same situation as us at the same time - waiting for God to pull through and let them have a VBAC. And God did, literally 2 hours before they were scheduled for their c-section. It was incredible! Amazing! God is so wonderful in His timing!

And there was no way He would do the exact same thing for me. My heart thought I knew Him well enough to know He wouldn't perform the same miracle for me, for this baby, for my family.

So I tried and tried for days to make things happen on my own - and the funny thing was, each attempt at starting labor almost had the opposite effect of slowing down or stopping contractions.

Until I came to the end of my rope. And gave up, and let go, waiting to hit bottom. I believed that I was a bomb that would never go off, not without help. I would always need the medical community in order to get my babies out of my body, I was going to have to start labor Sunday night by having my water broken, and hopefully heaven would be kind and it would work. But even then, I believed ultimately that I was eventually going to be staring another c-section in the face.

But God, oh that son of a gun! - He performed the exact same miracle for me. 5 hours before I was scheduled to come in to the hospital for that last ditch induction, the contractions finally stuck (although they weren't painful). 3 hours before I was scheduled to come in, I found myself crying from both the pain of each contraction and the overwhelming fear this wasn't actually labor (which it was). and 30 minutes before I was scheduled to come in, our little girl was born. An incredibly fast, mostly uneventful, very successful VBAC. Everything I had dreamed of experiencing happened. Not a detail was missing.

In so many ways, I'm still in shock.

God used the birth of my first to break down so many lies and ugly areas of my life and to begin a journey of getting to know who He is in the midst of broken dreams and suffering; He used the birth of my second to remind me that He still is the Miracle Maker, the one who binds up my broken heart, who cares about my dreams and wants to give me, His child good things.

I feel like in so many ways this journey is complete. I know there are a lot of loose ends to tie up, but after four long years of battling through how God fits in a broken world, He has finally taken me to end. I am done struggling with my c-section. My scar seems to have faded even more over these last two weeks. I am done facing down secondary infertility (although I may see it come again). Who know's what will come next, but this day, I build my altar.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." 
Lamentations 3:22

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Weeks 37-40 With Baby Rubiks

38 weeks
Whelp, we made it to fully cooked.  Not sure how I feel about it (honestly), since I really hoped to deliver before 40 weeks, but it looks like I keep 'em gestating longer. 

:: Symptoms ::

A lot of the aches and pains I've been feeling over the last month (hips mainly) have actually gone away, and I've felt more comfortable physically, which is weird. Lots of contractions, but nothing sticks. Heartburn kicked back up, as did my hunger. Lastly, I have started dilating quite a bit - I was up to 5 cm at my 40 week appointment.

:: Movement ::

So for those of you who don't know, one of the reasons for needing a c-section with Dellie was because she was posterior, or "sunny side up" (along with other positioning issues), and so I've been quite paranoid about where this girl is settling. She does also prefer to be more posterior and hang out on my right side. It's forced me to do a lot of praying for her to be in a good position for delivery, since I keep realizing that I can't force her into with my crazy contortions and exercises. She continues to be a strong mover, and I have gotten to feel what I'm pretty sure is practice breathing over the last week (which is really cool!).

:: Worst Part ::

Honestly, I had my hopes set on a February baby and delivering before 40 weeks. So when leap day came and went, I was definitely pretty discouraged. The pressure of having a baby before 41 is creeping up, and I find myself struggling to believe that God will provide a spontaneous labor and VBAC for us.

:: Best Part ::

I had an ultrasound at my 40 week appointment, and it was really fun getting a sneak peek at this girl doing her thing - not to mention hearing that she is doing really well inside me.

:: Dellie ::

Dellie once again asked where babies come out, and after quickly googling an appropriate answer for a 4 year old, I broke down and told her they come out mommy's bottom. Thankfully that was the answer she wanted and I didn't have to go into any more detail.

Until after my 40 week appointment.

Because I'm dilated to 5 cm, my midwife is willing to break my water to induce labor if I don't go on my own at 41 weeks. Dellie suddenly has become very concerned that I'm going to go to the hospital to "break my water bottle," which is just about the saddest thing to her in the whole world. So it's been a process trying to explain that babies live in a balloon of sorts that needs to broken so that her sister can be born.

:: Hubby ::

I think he's also getting a little nervous because we are getting closer and closer to 41 weeks. We've had to have a lot of conversations about what we're comfortable with as far as inductions go, and where we draw the line between trying our darndest to have a VBAc and not being dumb.

:: Looking Forward To ::

Having this girl be born. I'm just really ready to be done, to know how this delivery goes, and to have a healthy baby girl in my arms.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Weeks 33-36 With Baby Rubiks

Guess what?


Whaaaaa....?? Crazy, I know.

This last month was pretty great - spoiler alert, we did make it to San Diego for that weekend trip, and I think we're all pretty ready for this little girl to make her debut.

:: Symptoms ::

Sleep is same - wake up, roll, go to the bathroom, wake up husband on accident, whisper yet another goodnight to each other, and repeat in a couple hours. Energy is starting to go away, and I covet the nap I take almost everyday. However, heartburn is lessening and ribs kicks are becoming a thing of the past - this girl is low enough I feel her hiccups in my rear end. So weird, so funny, so much one of my favorite things (Dells did the same thing, and I thought it equally funny). I also have been getting less hungry as a whole too, which is weird. What else? Braxton hicks out the wazoo, and even a some contractions every so often.

:: Movement ::

Baby girl's latest thing is trying to exit through my belly button with the use of her feet. Let me tell you something - it hurts. Like a whole lot. She's staying head down, but had decided her favorite place to rest her back in on my right side or against my spine. Neither positions are exactly ideal for coming out when the time comes, so I've been trying to encourage her to rotate to more delivery friendly positions with some pretty awkward and weird body contortions. She is now big enough that I can make out the difference between a foot, a knee, or a rear end, which is pretty fun.

:: Worst Part ::

The phase of what's called prodromal labor began these last couple weeks. Basically that means I get contractions that show up for a couple hours, make me start thinking it might be time (!!) and then magically disappear for a couple days. I'm glad I was prepared for this to happen (same thing happened with Dells), so while the eventual let down is discouraging, it hasn't been driving me nuts in quite the same way it did last time around.

:: Best Part ::

San Diego, by far. We took a short (and I mean short) trip over the first weekend of February and had a wonderful time. Museums, gardens, parks, the beach, and a lighthouse. What made it so magical was that Dellie was an active participant in the trip, instead of just the kid we drag around in the stroller. She loved doing each and every thing, and we came home exhausted, yet so thankful we made it happen.

:: Dellie ::

She asked the other day how babies come out.

Oh boy.

I ended up telling her that mommies went to the hospital and doctors helped the baby come out, and she seemed pretty content with the answer. But she obviously kept thinking about it because two days later she told me that she was pretty sure her sister was going to "come out this way" (pointing to my stomach) "and up through your mouth." For now, I think we'll just leave it at that.

As a whole, she's pretty excited for her sister to come, although I think it has more to do with the fact that her Granny will be coming out to play with "all day long." We moved her bed around this last week to start adjusting her to sharing her bedroom in the next few months, and she was really bummed when I told her we weren't setting up the crib just yet. She loves helping matching baby clothes for me, which means a lot of re-organizing them afterwards (cause I really don't think the yellow newborn bloomers are actually going to work with the yellow 9 month dress).

:: Hubby ::

I think we have a name picked out! I gave Josh free reign on the middle name, and so far his choices have been pretty good, save "Dragoslava." Whether he's truly serious or not about that one, we'll never know ;) I think the reality that another girl is joining the ranks is sinking in more and more, which has been a bit intimidating for him. But I think he's done a pretty fantastic job with the first one so far, so I'm pretty sure he'll adjust to being a girl dad again quite well.

:: Looking Forward To ::

I'm really hoping the next baby post is one with our little girl in our arms! I realized that I keep imagining her looking exactly like Dellie did when she was born, and the reality is she may very well not. It's sort of a surreal experience having a reference for what she may look like, but also that this girl isn't going to be another Dellie - she is going to be her own self. So I'm definitely excited to see what kind of little person we get the privilege of being parents to!