Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013, Here I Come...

Day 1 of 2013; day 1 back home.  We went up to Colorado for Christmas, then drove out to Omaha for a church conference, spent an hour in Iowa, then drove back to Phoenix.  If I have my math correct, we spent 52 hours on the road.

So that's why we're all so tired.

It was 32 degrees this morning.  It actually hit the freezing point here - in the hottest city in America.  I'm still a bit in shock.

For the first time in my life, I have actually decided that there is a plus side to having a mild winter here in Phoenix.  Coming back from all the holiday-ness up in the North Pole half of the U.S. to chilly, but comfortable desert was, in a weird way, nice.  It helped my brain jolt out of vacation mode into back-to-normal-life mode without much of a hiccup.  It has been especially nice since I usually have a bout of mini depression every January 1.  I don't usually get excited about a new year beginning - I end up wondering how on earth the last year went by just like that, and completely unprepared for life to start back up again.

Like they say, the days are long but the weeks are fast.

I can't believe that this time last year I was desperately trying to get a baby out before her due date [which didn't happen]. I can't believe that I wound up living in Arizona.  I was expecting, well, really anywhere but here. I also can't believe that life really isn't that different as a student family as it was an army family.  I was expecting to have blown through a lot more of our savings and feeling a lot more financially pinched.  I was expecting our life to be a lot harder than it is turning out to be for us three.

God is good. He was good to me this year, he was good to my family.  He was good to our crazy decision to leave a steady job for student life only 6 months after having a child.  I believe, more than I have ever before, that He is an active part of my life's journey - and He is interested in taking care of me, father to child.

I honestly don't really have anything I'm looking forward to this year.  I don't really have any big life events to expect over the coming months, nor do I really feel resolved about the things I want to change about myself or my lifestyle.  There are lots of things I would love to see myself doing differently, but I'm not really interested in doing any of the hard work to make it happen.  [Boy, that sounded really bad.]

I guess I do have some resolve over one thing - to pray.  I have been slowly convinced over the last few months that prayer is best thing I can do when life is overwhelming and I just want to quit. It also has this funny way of increasing communication with God, which tends to lead to a better, closer relationship with him.

So, when I am feeling confused about decisions, I can pray for peace in the unknown, and a clear answer when the time comes.

When I am feeling alone, I can pray for my relationship to get stronger with God.

When I am feeling hurt, I can pray for comfort and a better understanding of selfless love to others.

When I don't want to do something I know I should do, I can pray for conviction.

Through these prayers, I want to release my feelings and thoughts and desires [and lack of desires] to God.  To give them all to Him to take care of.  I suppose, in a sense, to pray is my resolution.  Maybe through increased prayer I will find other things to change throughout the year.  I hope to be a little more grown up next January 1st.

Sometimes, I suppose, the change that really sticks is the kind that plods slowly, faithfully along.  The kind that is almost imperceptible as it is happening.

Hope you had a good Christmas season, and are feeling a little more resolved and excited about this coming year :)

1 comment:

  1. Connie Vader-LindholmJanuary 4, 2013 at 4:27 AM

    I'm with you Shelby. I cannot think of a better "resolution" for the new year. I love the photo of your "sleeping beauty."